Stock and Squirrels

It seems that Life has handed me a sour lemon, but the long and short of it is, I won't be going to Wordstock this year. I'm naturally a little disappointed; the only time I attended a Wordstock I was too busy getting intimately acquainted with the bottom of a toilet bowl to enjoy it to the full. There's also the trip down with the teens in my area, a bonus I'm sorry to miss, but thank you Lord anyway.

In my efforts to remain positive, I came up with some good reasons for staying home:

1. Texan water. That vile liquid has its source in the bowels of hell. There's that movie, Erin Brokovich, where Julia Roberts is gingerly pulling dead frogs out of contaminated water (and you know she's thinking "Like, OMG, so like, GROSS!!) and I am absolutely certain that it was Texan water. You can die drinking that poison. Enough frogs and cute little pond animals have died swimming in that filth. Boycott Texan water.
2. I'm hopefully going to XD anyway.
3. I'm too sexy for Wordstock.
4. AIR CON!!
5. Anyway
   

The following is the letter I received from the WOC regarding the denial of my application:

"Dear Eman,

Thank you for your application. However, after much deliberation we've come to the conclusion that you are a squirrel, and since squirrels are basically useless when it comes to any of the positions that staff could hold, we have decided to let you stay home and chew your nuts."

Sincerely yours, the WOK

No, wait, that's the letter I got from the WOK, an Asian chef camp I planned to attend. The real WOC letter, even if it carried tidings of woe, was honest, heartfelt, and sweet. I was sorry to hear that a few hormonally challenged individuals felt it was their duty to set the record straight with the WOC and let them know that it was them who truly deserved to attend Wordstock 4. The WOC has put a lot of praying, planning, long hours, blood, sweat, and tears to make this event a reality, and selecting the staff was a difficult thing to do.

I'm sorry if, for whatever reason, any of you won't be able to attend Wordstock 4. But take some time to stop and bring your burdens and trials before the Lord, and get His perspective on your situation. And for those of you who wrote in with your harsh comments, please chill; take some time to finish a project, get that extra Word time you wanted, sip some lemonade, or maybe even chew some nuts.