New Year's is coming up. I won't post my resolutions this year; I got a personal list with goals broken down into small, doable steps. If I had done that with last year's list, I might be looking at some real progress today.
I've come to realize that a reasonable amount of cynicism coats my thinking and speech. I think it's a byproduct of my over-idealistic days, back when I thought people I loved and respected were perfect and love was something that came without mistakes and heartbreak. It's something that causes internal struggle at times.
Looking back at my attitudes and mentalities over the past years, or even last year, makes my current outlook feel a little colder and cynical. Is this growing up? I know I've had to give up some naive views on life, but where's the line? It makes me feel a little wiser, better now that I let go of that view that made me stupid and susceptible to pain and failure, but am I really better off? Does it make me happier?
I think cynicism just shows our inherent need for those idealistic concepts we ridicule. Sure, reality isn't that rosy, but I don't want to give up dreaming just because it all goes away when I wake.
2 comments:
I felt the same way about my cynicism at around this very same time, & the thought that made me decide to do something to change my outlook was, "How does the joy of the Lord fit into my attitude?" It just didn't, & that bothered me; I knew it wasn't representative of the goods He has to offer, & that I'm commissioned to offer to others.
I think it's just what happens when we lean to our own understanding & base our thoughts on the negatives in our own experience instead of basing our thoughts on the reality of the Word. I'd thought I was just looking at things in life realistically & avoiding disappointment by "preparing for the worst" (more like expecting the worst, ahem), & not letting my hopes get up high so that they wouldn't hv too far to fall. But the result was a perpetual downward view that ended up being a pain in the neck & a drain on the joy in my life.
I used to tell cynics, "Life is tough, but being tough on life only makes it tougher;" then somewhere along the line I fell into living that very saying. It took Jesus using a man born w/o both arms & legs to get thru' to me that, as Christians, we ought to be dreaming the biggest out of anyone in the world! If it's God's Will, He'll bring it to pass in His time, & if it's not His Will & He "doesn't answer our prayers," or we don't see our dreams come to pass, He's got something even better & is overriding our plans out of His love for us.
This is all in the Word; I guess I'd gotten too familiar w/ it & Jesus had to find another way to drive the point home (Nick Vujicic @ 21) It's pure joy to just trust Jesus again, come what may, whether circumstances, my mistakes or other ppl's mistakes, & be convinced that the future is really as bright as His Promises!
Very true; thanks for your comment, Nina.
Thank the Lord that there's always the Word to turn to for a fresh perspective.
About Nick Vujicic; read about him and found him a great inspiration as well, you gotta admire his courage and strong faith.
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