Please do not disturb
Don't tell me how I'm wrong
Don't say it isn't worth it
I can't hear your protests
A beautiful thing
Handled clumsily
Botched art
I've done this again
You think I'm faking
You think I'm desperate
You think I've got nothing left
You think you know me
I think you're wrong
Many a night
By glow of candlelight
I've pondered these questions
Burning within
Holding to a flicker of hope
In a sea of dismal doubts
These eyes are blind
Of this you're sure
I don't need my eyes
To listen to my heart
Selfish brute
Vicious cycle
Do you care?
Is this for you?
More unshed tears
I'm humbled by this
I'm tired of useless cajoling
I'm tearing my heart open
You're turning away
Tattered like an old quilt
No amount of patchwork will save
We're coming to an end
One more smile
I want to believe
What am I to you?
Leave me for dead
I want to lie here
I can't cope with my dependence
Remember me as I was
For all the good days
Treasure our indelible memories
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Never made it to the fourth...
Welcome to my new blog. Enjoy the yellow.
4 comments:
The thing I like about your poetry is that you got a way of expressing yourself that is... well...unique, to put it simply. Its very-well expressed and is emotive and everything.
The one weak area is your imagery though which, if your writing Verse Libre or Blank Verse is a must have really. The reason is cause since Blank and Free verse lack rhyme they need something for the reader to get hooked on in compensation.
Try to come up with new and exciting word-images that will stimulate the readers mind. Visulization is everything and ca sometimes work better to invoke a subtle feeling in the reader that words would be difficult to express, since people will remember more of what they see then of what they hear. Play on that aspect and use color, images, and reference to invoke response in them.
Please do keep it up though, your getting better at it, honestly. :)
True, true. I'm still very experimental when it comes to free verse, so I haven't made much use of imagery yet. I don't actually consider myself a poet, seeing as I'm relatively new to this.
I wrote and edited this in under one hour; I was working on my computer and I got the inspiration to write a few lines. It usually takes me longer to complete my more serious works. Thanks for the critique, I will definitely keep working on improving my poetry.
Well, I like it.
I could never write a paragraph, or even a sentence or critique because I know squat about poetry. All I know is that I like it (poetry) and I like this one. Kudos!
Heh, thanks, Sonia!
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