The Amazing Cat 5:19 PM

It's Halloween!

I'm expecting to see a lot of ugly kids on the streets, or knocking on my door, asking for candy.

So I plan to play my guitar at high volume levels, and pretend I didn't hear them. And if they try anything, that's what these eggs are for.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Splat!

Unless they're really cute little kids. Then I'll probably give them some candy.

Yesterday, I made a new friend. I call him "The Amazing Cat". I had a stare fight with him at 12 something P.M. last night. The little sucker tried jumping through my window, I hope he didn't get hurt. It was pretty cute though, "Hello, little kitty..." SPLAT! "Oh, you ok?"

And yes, he's black.

I think I just scared a superstitious soul.

I should have gone trick or treating. I had these great costume ideas. Like a skeleton or Adam.

Wahh, I want candy.

Subscribe 5:05 PM

I did it!!!



OH, YEAH!!! UH HUH, UH HUH!!



My first two Activated subscriptions. Today.



And I'd like to give all the credit to Jesus, as He was the one who did it through me. I couldn't have done it myself. And I have the conviction that Activated is packed with the Truth. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, needs to read it.



The first person I subscribed is the owner of a Domino's Pizza here, he was very cordial and subscribed with his whole heart, God bless him!



After that we went to an apartment building which was full of students. Most of them were interested, but didn't have the money. Then we met a student who agreed to subscribe. After she filled out the subscription, she asked if anyone else in the building subscribed. I told her most of them didn't have the money, but she said "C'mon, the price is affordable!".



All in all, it was great fun, fufilling, a boost of faith, and proved to me that it can be done.



So get out there and subscribe people guys, they need the Truth and answers Activated has to offer.

Neat Paragraphs 10:03 PM

This week, it's been a slow one.

With many happenings that I deem too boring to tell.

Dot.

You see, I'm facing a "oh-damn-what-should-I-say-next-that-would-be-cool" moment.

Say?

I never did get that, why did I just say "say" (there I go again), I'm WRITING, not speaking.

Hmmm...Well, I did have one heck of a frustrating night yesterday, I'll tell you about that.

My parents had to go give a Bible study, but lo and behold, our monthly was not yet done. So cheery little me, I decide to fill in the blanks and offer to finish the monthly for them.

Did I mention my middle name was Happy Helper?

So my mom hands me these papers with the stuff I needed to transcribe, but I ended up doing editorial work on most of the pages, see, my parents' first language isn't English.

I wrote these neat long paragraphs with proper spelling and all, happy I was with my job. I was about halfway through, so I figured I'd plug in my amp by the computer, finish the last half, and then jam while my parents were gone, why not?

Turns out I pulled the plug on the computer.

Bloop. Bye bye, neat paragraphs.

With a hint of frustration (what a stupid MISTAKE!!), I booted up the computer and began from scratch. I wrote up all the neat long paragraphs again, and I was more than halfway through when suddenly the lights started to blink, and before I knew it...Bloop.

Bye bye, neat paragraphs Part 2.

Some snowfall in our area (the first time I've seen it snow since last winter) mated with (raped) something-that-controls-the-electricity and cut our electricity for a bit.

I wished right then that I had short hair.

After my little fit of fury, which resembled an African tribal dance mixed with an attack of epilepsy, I started typing neat long paragraphs again.

Victory!! I finished at last at 2 A.M.

Romans 8:28: 1. I learned a good lesson on patience and perseverance. 2. I no longer need a haircut.

Erg. I'm getting one of those "oh-damn-how-should-I-end-this-post" moments.

Bear with me.

Puppy with me.

Kitty with me.

And if you're a female around my age that's kinda cute...

Sleep with me?

Saying (writing) "outrageous" things, it's my life.

Recycled 6:19 PM

I visited s-t-e-m.com to download what I thought would be an averagely good album.

But I say unto you, it's inspired.

It zaps me.

It's got me headbanging uncontrollably.

I can't stop listening to it.

I've rated it right alongside my favorite albums like At All Costs, Dropped Out, and Still Dropped Out.

Whether it's technically perfect or not is not of that much importance, but the Spirit it carries, I like.

So I highly recommend you go ahead and click the album cover and begin downloading it. You won't be sorry you did.

Note: Please don't feel like you're a loser if you didn't have time to download Recycled, or if you didn't like it. We're all entitled to our tastes and opinions.

The Weak and Tired 10:39 PM

I've lost my love for posting here, perhaps it'll come back, one day.

Recently, I've been sick with a bad cough and fever. My whole body was boiling one minute then freezing the next. And every time I coughed, it felt like a train of spikes was ripping it's way through my throat.

Next time, I won't go jumping on a trampoline in the cold rain.

No, actually, that was fun.

Gee, I haven't learned my lesson.

At least I gained a sexy, raspy voice.

I've used the time I had to stay in bed for good purposes though, like getting in some much needed extra Word time. My time in bed also gave me too much time to think. And at this point, that's not a good thing. It's been tough lately, and my brooding, gloomy mood is not helping, plus the restlessness I feel is killing me.

Enough said.

I can't talk about my issues when I'm in a bad mood, it does me no good, and it's not going to edify the reader.

In plain terms, it'll be spreading the Devil's shit around.

I'll bear my burden alone and in silence, and cast it on Jesus when it gets too heavy.

It's the best way to go about it.

Endure.

Weekends 10:20 PM

I hate it when I've got something to say and no way to remember it.

But I'll try to remember some of the stuff I did over at Montreal the past two weekends.

The first weekend I did dread, because I knew I'd have to attend my own birthday party (mind you, I have nothing against birthday parties, but here they usually end up...not that great.). The knowledge of this was reflected in my reluctance to get out of bed, eat breakfast and hop into the van.

Now driving to Montreal, that's a real test of endurance, because I tend to get stuck with sweaty little kids who squeal every few for about two hours.

So I've come up with this plan, I have.

I begin to sing songs and tell lame jokes and stories until everyone else can't stand me. Then I suddenly shut up, people realize how good silence is, they shut up, and I get a nap.

We attended the Activated and did our thing. I got a part in a skit about praise, which involved making faces like a suffering gorilla (I was actually trying to look mean, it didn't work that well) and falling to the floor "dead". The food there wasn't rotten this time, so I'll take a moment to clap for the cook.

After that, we all headed over to Helen's for fellowship and my party. It's great how people try to keep your own birthday a secret. What's also great is being able to sidle up to people with a smug face and triumphantly burst out "I KNOW what you're planning!".

We did the usual: cake, inspiration, games, snacks, pointless yacking away, and a movie.

I swear, I wasn't THAT eager to eat the cake.

Then there was the unusual: The presents.

A DOLLY? For me? Aww, you shouldn't have...

"To our dearest Eman: This potato will keep you safe and warm, no matter where you go."

The Potato of Power.

Forget about the day after that, it's irrelevant, it is.

The second weekend: I endured another long drive with my family until they left me out in the rain, standing in front of a spooky looking house.

I think my plan backfired.

So after I walked into the house and got my crotch greeted by the dog, I met four new and HOT...let's just say they're downright righteous girls. It seems my reputation preceded me this time though, because they recognized me from the DVD of a camp we had here in 2004. I did this bad (HORRIBLE, EWW, TAKE-THAT-OFF-RIGHT-NOW) rap number for the Word Time crowd at the camp. I knew it was a bad idea to get up there in the first place...

The first night we had a kareoke sing-along thing, it was like reliving your childhood, a bunch of teens enthusiastically yelling out tunes from Disney movies.

HAKUNA MATATA!!

The next day, after a Word class on Activated, we headed out to Activate our part of the world. I didn't get any subscriptions, but yeah, I did my part, and that counts. So THERE. At least I got hooked up with a great witnessing partner, Cec. It was like, "Ha ha, I got Cec, you guys WISH she was your partner *blows raspberry* La la la la la"...When we arrived back home, we all got ready to PAR-TAY! We had a beyond swell dance and game night, I got to slow dance with a broom, was voted "The Weakest Link", and some other cool happenings which I'll keep to myself.

I keep the best for myself. Selfish.

That, and it's great to be...(Hormones: "NOOO, he won't say it, will he? NOOO!!)...SINGLE!!!

So it was only the best fellowship since I came to Canada, or even before that.

FAMILY GIRLS ROCK!!

"I used to think...blah blah blah...Disillusioned, greener grass on that side. I'm in confusion, before I fell in love...with the girls from Toronto!"

"Lainey's wonderful smile,
Ceci's BOOBS! (she'll KILL me...),
blah blah blah...,
Shelly had a dance with me,
Leila's pretty (damn sexy),
now I can truly see..."

FAMILY GIRLS ROCK!!

17 8:18 PM

I've been so busy with stuff, that I forgot to wish a happy birthday to two really swell guys: Gabe and Tony.

I'm praying the Lord gives them a year filled with His blessings.

As some of you know, I turned 17 this year, this day.

17 on the 17th.

I feel OLD. It's surprising how the years go by, you're dreaming about being older and one day you wake up 17.

Yikes.

For my birthyday, I got me an electric guitar, a Fender Squire with a Fender Frontman amp, and the cable, picks, and case to go with it too.
It's averagely good equipment, it'll serve me well.

PTL!

Where's my earplugs?

I Am A Whiner 12:25 AM

I know I shouldn't be posting, not now, not when I've got nothing much to say.

But the more posts the better, right?

Shut up.

And just after Thanksgiving, I'm feeling kind of whinny.

The irony is perfect.

Well, we saw a movie, ate a good dinner, and had our relatives over. Joy (my cousin) was able to attend this Thanksgiving with her daughter Charlotte, it was niCe to see them again.

I need to conclude this post before I say something "offensive". You see, I recently found my naughty mouth again, which is nothing more than my wit used negatively. I don't mean to be arrogant, but I'm pretty good at sarcasm. At least that's what Richard implied before he dragged me around the room for beating him at a battle of wits.

I bear the scar.

Just pray that my sarcasm does not got overboard like it did in Mexico.

Some things need only happen once.

And it's all those...people's fault.

I don't like people. With some exceptions, of course.

Don't feel bad, I'm always contradicting myself.

Year One 8:30 PM

Happy Birthday!!

To this site, but also to my dear friend Rory, (I'm sorry I forgot your birthday, I always get confused and think it's the 9th) and a belated one to Flo, who seems to be loving the benefits of being sweet sixteen.

If you're wondering about that post I left in draft hell, it's out, and it's right under this one.

I know most bloggers give their readers a present when it's their blogs' birthday, but I won't.

Just call me Ebenezer Scrooge.

Looks like I need to go, the Thanksgiving celebration is in full swing and I'm here sneaking this in.

This post could be my present to you.

Don't whine, you've got a lot to be thankful for.

And if you're good, I just might get you something.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World Of Chatting 11:42 PM

It all started when I decided to take my little ship for an explore into Cyberspace. Being the adventurous kind, I ventured deep into Cyberspace. This detour soon had me running low on fuel, so I decided to try and land on a nearby planet and ask for fuel.

I entered Grammar Bad galaxy, and headed off toward planet I Kant Spel. After a safe and well executed landing (for those allergic to bullshit, don't read that phrase. Oops, too late.), I got out to inspect my surroundings. No sooner had I set foot on terra firma, I was encircled by a group of little yellow and round people.

I jutted my hand out in a friendly salute. They reacted by emitting strange noises like "WTF" and "LOL". One of them squeaked out "BRB" and ran off. He soon came back with a translator, who told me the Chatters (the yellow and round fellows) would refuel my ship, and that meanwhile, he'd take me on a tour of Chatopolis.

I was not prepared for what I saw.

I saw row upon row of cubicles, each equipped with their individual internet-linked computers. They're a peculiar species, these Chatters. Most are socially inept, and don't know what their sun looks like.

After a while I noticed that my presence was becoming less tolerated, or maybe it was just my comments like, "May I recommend the spell check button?", "Gossip...", or "That's not even remotely funny". Finally I was asked to leave the planet, and with a sigh of gratitude, I hopped into my vehicle and sped off to The Real World.

Arriving back home, I decided to write up a few tips for others who may happen upon these Chatters. This is not a comprehensive list, but it may help you to comprehend and communicate with them.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World of Chatting:

1. Do NOT spell correctly. Whether you can or cannot spell is irrelevant, a true Chatter does not spell correctly.
   
2. Do NOT use spell check. If you are an aspiring Chatter, remember, it's a no-no. If you are a Chatter, by the time your errors are checked, the server will have crashed and died, so it's pointless, really.
3. WRITE IN CAPS. AREN'T THESE BIG, BOLD LETTERS FUN? NO, I'M NOT SHOUTING AT YOU. FINE, I SHOUT AT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. HA HA HA, AND THEY SAY THAT THOSE 1 KILO BAGS OF SUGAR WERE BAD FOR ME!?...WOO-HOO! I'M SOOOOO HAPPY, I'M SOOOO HAPPY...
4. Almost anything can be abbreviated into three or four letter words: lol, brb, wtv, wtf, rofl, asl, omg, etc...Use these in excess.
   
5. "Z" your wordz. Becauze it soundz cool, lolz.
   
6. Write nonsense. Your fellow chatters will like it...Isn't the Easter bunny sexy? ALL HAIL THE ROTTEN SOCK!
7. A smiley is worth a thousand abbreviated and misspelled words. Use them in excess. Note to the guys: The :P smiley after every few sentences is manly. Very manly.
8. Pick fights with random people. It doesn't matter if you know beans about the topic of discussion, just pick a fight and test your wit.
   
9. Proper grammar is of the devil.
   

And as a bonus, I give you:

A Tip On How To Appear As An Intelligent Individual Who Deserves Respect:

1. Ignore all of the above.

Feel informed.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World Of Cha Ting 11:42 PM

It all started when I decided to take my little ship for an explore into Cyberspace. Being that I am the adventurous kind, I ventured deep into Cyberspace. With so much to see, I spent an inordinate amount of time sightseeing, until I ran low on fuel. In consulting my map, I decided to try and land on a nearby planet and ask for fuel.

I entered Grammar Bad galaxy, and headed off toward planet I Kant Spel. After a safe and well executed landing (for those allergic to bullshit, don't read that phrase. Oops, too late.), I got out to inspect my surroundings. No sooner had I set foot on terra firma, I was encircled by a group of little yellow and round people.

I jutted my hand out in a friendly salute. They reacted by emitting strange noises like "WTF" and "LOL". One of them squeaked out "BRB" and ran off. He soon came back with a translator, who told me the Chatters (the yellow and round fellows) would refuel my ship, and that meanwhile, he'd take me on a tour of Chatopolis.

Chatopolis, he explained, was the capital of the country of Cha Ting. A long time ago, a disheartened reject, pushed away by society and embittered by his social ineptness, flew to this planet and declared that he would start a kingdom where all could be equal. The translator said all this with an air of boyish enthusiasm, as if he were reminiscing his first kiss with the love of his life.

I sniggered quietly and turned my attention to the city. I saw row upon row of cubicles, each equipped with their individual internet-linked computers. Taking a closer look into one, a nauseating odor caught my nose. A bearded Chatter looked up from his desk, startled, and then proceeding to fling a bag of oily chips at me. They're a peculiar species, these Chatters. Most are socially inept, could use a shower, and don't know what their sun looks like.

After a while, I noticed that my presence was becoming less tolerated, or maybe it was just my comments like, "May I recommend the spell check button?", "Gossip...", or "That's not even remotely funny". Finally, the mayor himself came up to me and vented his displeasure at my comments. It came out something like this: "Ugh, you're, like, ugh, meanie, I'll zap you with my sword of power, yesh. I've got a bow and arrow in my pocket, you don't wanna mess with me, I'm a Jedi! I'm telling my mommy on you!" Then I was asked to leave the planet, and with a sigh of gratitude, I hopped into my vehicle and sped off to The Real World.

Arriving back home, I decided to write up a few tips for others who may happen upon these Chatters. This is not a comprehensive list, but it may help you to comprehend and communicate with them.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World of Chatting:

1. Do NOT spell correctly. Whether you can or cannot spell is irrelevant, a true Chatter does not spell correctly.
   
2. Do NOT use spell check. If you are an aspiring Chatter, remember, it's a no-no. If you are a Chatter, by the time your errors are checked, the server will have crashed and died, so it's pointless, really.
3. WRITE IN CAPS. AREN'T THESE BIG, BOLD LETTERS FUN? NO, I'M NOT SHOUTING AT YOU. FINE, I SHOUT AT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. HA HA HA, AND THEY SAY THAT THOSE 1 KILO BAGS OF SUGAR WERE BAD FOR ME!?...WOO-HOO! I'M SOOOOO HAPPY, I'M SOOOO HAPPY...
4. Almost anything can be abbreviated into three or four letter words: lol, brb, wtv, wtf, rofl, asl, omg, etc...Use these in excess.
   
5. "Z" your wordz. Becauze it soundz cool, lolz.
   
6. Write nonsense. Your fellow chatters will like it...Isn't the Easter bunny sexy? ALL HAIL THE ROTTEN SOCK!
7. A smiley is worth a thousand abbreviated and misspelled words. Use them in excess. Note to the guys: The :P smiley after every few sentences is manly. Very manly.
8. Be a raging dickhead troll.
   
9. Proper grammar is a horrendous scheme to control us into mindless, proper robots by the anal Grammatic Nazis.
   

And as a bonus, I give you:

A Tip On How To Appear As An Intelligent Individual Who Deserves Respect:

1. Ignore all of the above.

It's The Air In That Town 7:04 PM

Well, I still didn't finish that post I left in draft hell.

It needs to suffer for it's mediocrity.

Yesterday I attended Vincent's birthday party. I had fun, cake, and little Oreo cookies with milk. In that order. I took some photos as well, but I'll keep those here in my computer in order to protect the reputation of my client, Vincent.

I have to, he's got some bad pictures of me, too.

Well, I met some of Vincent's friends and relatives, and I'm convinced they're all regular smokers of weed. That, or they're just really weird. I also got to observe the locals version of Jackass. The stunt I saw was three guys on skateboards holding on to a moving scooter. The crazy trio held on while the driver attempted to set a speed record.

I also attempted to set a speed record going downhill on a bike with my eyes closed.

Must be the air in that town.

I was invited to stay the night at Vincent's place, so I popped out of bed the next day to breathe the town's air. I spent the day in the sun, swinging, running, shooting little kids with water guns, walking, talking, and running away from ugly chicks. Ok, so they weren't THAT ugly, but I'm not eager to meet new people.

I smell food. Ahhhh, yes, spagetti.

Mama mia, I'm off.

Ciao.

Wake Me Up When September Ends 4:21 PM

It's the perfect thing to say before going to bed on the last day of September.

For the benefit of those brilliant detectives out there who will accuse me of stealing a song title from Green Day, yes, I do realize it's the title of one of their songs. I was originally trying to sneak it in, but being as they have millions of fans, I realize I can't pull it off.

Yippeyayurgay.

I've adopted a lazy attitude towards posting here, but I do not feel guilty, oh no, most of the top bloggers are doing it too.

It's a new trend.

I don't remember much of last weekend. I do remember a visit from my cousins in Quebec, climbing tall trees, a sandal under my bed, and "Crash". Good movie, it was. It was quite an insight into the lives of members of different cultures, had a message on racism, and was realistically done.

This week. Uh, let us see...The adults had themselves a prayer day, and I got childcare. My charges were Monty, Miggy, and Sammy. They behaved themselves well. We did fun fun things like car races, Word time, building things out of lego, dance time, etc. This area also happened to be hit by a cold front, which brought strong winds which caused trees to uproot, junk to fly, fires to start, and power shortages.

We watched "Robots" just last night. It's good. It's GOOOOOOD. We all got a good laugh out of it, and it's got some lessons. I've always liked Robin Williams and his impersonations and voices.

Now that I've finished posting about the unfunny happenings of yours truly, I'll probably go work on the post that I left in draft hell.

I blame it on...myself. For my perfect timing. See, Blogger had two scheduled maintenance hours and I caught 'em both. What are the odds?

And...Happy Birthday, Vincent! 14, I believe.

I wish I had the time of these bored kids. Why, with time like that, I could come up with excellent posts of pure and unrivaled genius.

I have something to say to those bored shmucks as well...Get a new hobby, hump a pumpkin, bang a banana.

Food fights.

E-diots.

I'm bored.