They say that truth hurts 12:53 AM

New Year's is coming up. I won't post my resolutions this year; I got a personal list with goals broken down into small, doable steps. If I had done that with last year's list, I might be looking at some real progress today.

I've come to realize that a reasonable amount of cynicism coats my thinking and speech. I think it's a byproduct of my over-idealistic days, back when I thought people I loved and respected were perfect and love was something that came without mistakes and heartbreak. It's something that causes internal struggle at times.

Looking back at my attitudes and mentalities over the past years, or even last year, makes my current outlook feel a little colder and cynical. Is this growing up? I know I've had to give up some naive views on life, but where's the line? It makes me feel a little wiser, better now that I let go of that view that made me stupid and susceptible to pain and failure, but am I really better off? Does it make me happier?

I think cynicism just shows our inherent need for those idealistic concepts we ridicule. Sure, reality isn't that rosy, but I don't want to give up dreaming just because it all goes away when I wake.

Merry Christmas! 6:02 PM

My best regards and well wishes to all of you! Party hard, have fun, and take time to enjoy this season. Merry Christmas!

(This post is sadly lacking one of those pictures in which I wear a really contrived smile; reason being that it's the tenth photo and the photographer still isn't happy with the shot. I will try to produce one soon, and post it here in place of this explanation which does nothing more than express my distaste of having to pose for Christmas pictures.)

Congratulations, Chris and Stephanie! 1:43 PM

I want to give a special shout out to my homeboy Chris and his lovely bride-to-be, Stephanie, for their plans to tie the proverbial knot! Congratulations, guys! All the best to you; may you live happily together and make lots of crazy little Irish kids with all the charm of Chris and the beauty of Te-te (Chris would contest that it's vice versa, heh).




(Happy Belated Birthday, Chris! Down a few margaritas for me, will ya?)

Creation To Chaos 10:53 AM

Head over here to check out the latest by Spirit Tree. (Joe, it seems you missed this release and Naked's Drugstore, another album to check out.)

I would recommend track 12, All This (Acoustic). It hooked me immediately, and hasn't let go even after six listens. I guess I'm a sucker for acoustic songs that pack an emotional punch. This song bleeds sincere desperation.

It falls away
It falls like rain
Like water through my hands

Today it's italics

Scars 1:29 AM

Shhh
Don't lose your grip
On what we believe is
Reality
A cold hard floor
Glass in hand
Nose deep
In my own stench
Up to my chin
In unshakable guilt
Too choked to scream
Released from their cage
Every foul feeling
Surged in triumph
They coursed in glee
Through a powerless being
I reached for perfection
It brought me here
I reached for a star
It fell to earth
Pinning me
So whisper
If you pass me by
You are climbing
I'm still right here
If you linger
Touch my cheek
Let my scars
Heal you
Light a candle
But don't stay
I'm no hero
You are beautiful
In a beautiful world
Never lose
That innocent wonder
Crimson roses bloom
In drinking bittersweet tears
Shed by dismal clouds

¿Quiero cafe con leche? 6:21 PM

I'm having a good time here in Costa Rica, that, and it rains too much. I've got pictures, but I can't upload them here. I'm convinced that this computer has just wiped my flash drive. Internet cafes and their ancient desktops. It's hard to explain my frustration.

Costa Rica is lovely (yes, darlings), and yet strangely enough I miss the snow and feel of good ol' Canada. Gosh, I've been in Canada for too long...

I'm considering getting a tatoo while I'm here. Nothing too big or daring, we'll see.

Mas Tequila, por favor!

My Summer in November 2:43 AM

I'll be visiting my family in Costa Rica for a few weeks; I want to say that I sincerely apologize for the lack of updates. If my blog is supposed to reflect my life, I guess you could say that my life is a little like this blog: dry.

Change isn't a one time thing. I'm praying for some direction. Hopefully this breather will give me a chance to put things back into perspective, and then I'll launch out from there. Support in the form of prayers is, as always, deeply appreciated.

Thank you and goodnight.