Suppressive 6:15 PM

I was going to tell you. I was going to reveal it to you; I wanted to show you what it's like to be me, to feel what I feel, to see things through my eyes.

Forgive me, but you won't have that chance. Not now.

My hands hover over the keyboard, each finger twitching eagerly. My mind races; pictures, words, feelings, all pouring out. And then I plug the flow. Some of what goes on inside shouldn't be brought out into the open.

I want you to know that I'm OK, but you'll never believe me if I shared this with you. When I walk away waving my hand over my shoulder, I don't want you crying for me. I love you, and that's all you need to know for now.

Maybe when I get the right perspective I'll tell you about it. Words are real and dangerous things. I can't have you stepping on the mines I unwittingly planted around me.

The screen is closing now. The laptop whirs into stand-by. Can you hear that? It's the suppressive sound of silence.

An ironic quote 11:14 PM

One of my friends had this as her Yahoo Messenger status message:

"I'm very, very busy watching Pride and Prejudice. If you're not a girl, you would not understand."

The C's 12:41 PM

I'm headed off to the annual MC/OC camp held here in Toronto. I'm going as a team captain; please keep me in your prayers, that I'll be a big blessing and help make this time a special time for the little guys.

Eman out.

Michael's Melodies 2:06 AM

Michael Piano's compositions have me enthralled. His instrumentals are so beautiful, so deep, so full of color and emotion. I suggest you stop reading this and go listen to some of his material.

It's inspired.

As I Lay Me Down To Die 1:23 AM

It doesn't
Make sense
In between headaches
And dizzy spells.
It couldn't
Shouldn't
Be so hard.
What is going on?

You I see
Perturbed
Concerned
Reach out to me.
The look on Your face
Sweet sympathy.

My head drops
My eyes twitch
The world spins and lurches.
The ground embraces me
In black cacophony.

Hold me
I'm falling.
Can You catch me in midair?
With eyelids heavy as stone
Lifeless limbs that flail
Like a torn flag in the wind.
Reach for me
Softly brush my cheek.

Dispel a nightmare
My dream come true
Tonight
I sleep with You.

Charles 11:11 AM

Not Dickens, but Grey. This Charles Grey is my new laptop, affectionately so named.

Say hello, Charles.

I like naming my possessions, it helps organize my life. But what this post really means is this: Charles and I are going XD. Hardcore. Don't expect to see me around for a bit.

I was thinking that I should take some of the best of my writings from the capital C, maybe edit and polish 'em up a little, and post them here for the sake of my old site's fans and for those not familiar with my earlier works.

What say ye? I think ye agree.

Trip to Beau Comeau 2:42 PM

I'm dropping in a few pictures of me while I was up north for my cousin's wedding. I don't really like posting pictures, but...yeah, here it is.

Trip To Beau Comeau

I had a pretty good time, not counting the sunburn and insect bites. I swear, there are flies there that bite off your skin. I must have made quite a sight, flailing my arms around and muttering obscenities like "Poopoofacedmaggotlayinglowlifebloodsuckingbuggers!!" Try saying that all as one word. Spell check is gonna collapse on this one. Ah, nature really brings out the creativity in me.

The waterfalls, rushing streams, and quiet moonlit nights were worth the six plus hours spent cramped in a humid van with my youngest sibling practicing his operatic solo. My finding a waterfall that emptied into the ocean and sitting on a nearby rock's edge, only four feet away from a bad accident, was a real thrill.

I didn't get much sleep though; I slept on the floor three nights in a row. The last night we slept in a giant tepee with a pine branch floor. I don't know what the natives' secret is, but it can be an oven in those tents. I could almost see them rubbing their hands with glee, waiting for the white Canadians to roast so they could feast. Well, actually, it would have been fine if only I had a pillow.

Now being sans coussin, that's really roughing it.