Color blind? No, you're just a little thoughtless 1:19 AM

I have just spent about five minutes browsing some friend's profiles on Hi5 (which, by the way, if you were thinking of getting one, DON'T DO IT. Stand strong in your convictions. And don't forget to add me.) It seems the new "in" thing is to make your background and text color the same darn color. This effectively makes it hard for well-meaning individuals such as myself to read your comments or even navigate your horrid little page.

So I've resorted to highlighting the text so I can see what sort of online gossip and display of teenage angst and melodrama is going on. This is really giving me trials, as every time I highlight the first few letters of any word my mind, which I have tried to drag out of the gutter, goes to work. I'm seeing words like "pee" instead of "peer", "gas" instead of "Pegasus", and "butt" instead of "buttocks".

Another moot point is sincerity. I've tried my best to appear like a normal teenager and post average-looking pictures of myself on Hi5, but every time I do so I get 50 comments from complete strangers about how good I look. This was administering to my pride until I discovered that all these strangers were part of a Hi5 group called "Let's Tell Everyone They're Good-Looking Group." With these wild flatters on the loose, I suggest that we up the ante and delete every comment that suggests that we're good-looking or smart. The next time your friend sends you a compliment, strike him or her off your list. That'll teach 'em.

I can't understand all these selfish people on Hi5. I got a message the other day by a very sweet girl I never met named Angel Candy, which read: "Hey there! I was just lookin' around Hi5 when I noticed your profile. You seem like a nice guy, and your definitely cute..." It was going so well until, "...so if you would like to, you can view ME at MY webcam (www.exploitprepubescentboys.com/angelcandy) where I do all sorts of fun things. Come and see ME now, what are you waiting for you horn...Handsome young man! See you there!" It was all a big ploy to get me to talk with her about the sort of thing a girl like her would be interested in: My Little Pony, nail polish, and mashups of the Carebears and Sailor Moon. I was so offended that I junked her message immediately.

I'm tired of getting 2 Gigs of glittery fairies and yapping puppy-dogs whenever I go to check on my friends pages. Tacky is not "in". Pet rocks are. Get yourself a pet rock and change your font color.

Victoire a la XD 10:45 PM

I have run the race, I have finished the XD course.

Of course, when I say the word "race", I'm using it in a purely figurative sense. I state this for those of you who wear the ear-to-ear grins that glow with the shine of one who has completed said course before me, even if you came in 10 milliseconds before me. Big deal, I once took a test on the book of Acts and won a calculator. Tremble before my feat.

The Pre XD was a real blessing and an inspiring course for me. I learned a lot and came to enjoy it immensely, even if it meant some personal sacrifice of free time, sleep, and admire-your-reflection-in-the-mirror-while-humming-the-Peter-and-Heidi-and-Grandpa-and-goats-song time.

I am grateful to any and all who made the XD online course a reality, I could hug and dance the can-can with you.

...

Well, maybe just hug you.

Suppressive 6:15 PM

I was going to tell you. I was going to reveal it to you; I wanted to show you what it's like to be me, to feel what I feel, to see things through my eyes.

Forgive me, but you won't have that chance. Not now.

My hands hover over the keyboard, each finger twitching eagerly. My mind races; pictures, words, feelings, all pouring out. And then I plug the flow. Some of what goes on inside shouldn't be brought out into the open.

I want you to know that I'm OK, but you'll never believe me if I shared this with you. When I walk away waving my hand over my shoulder, I don't want you crying for me. I love you, and that's all you need to know for now.

Maybe when I get the right perspective I'll tell you about it. Words are real and dangerous things. I can't have you stepping on the mines I unwittingly planted around me.

The screen is closing now. The laptop whirs into stand-by. Can you hear that? It's the suppressive sound of silence.

An ironic quote 11:14 PM

One of my friends had this as her Yahoo Messenger status message:

"I'm very, very busy watching Pride and Prejudice. If you're not a girl, you would not understand."

The C's 12:41 PM

I'm headed off to the annual MC/OC camp held here in Toronto. I'm going as a team captain; please keep me in your prayers, that I'll be a big blessing and help make this time a special time for the little guys.

Eman out.

Michael's Melodies 2:06 AM

Michael Piano's compositions have me enthralled. His instrumentals are so beautiful, so deep, so full of color and emotion. I suggest you stop reading this and go listen to some of his material.

It's inspired.

As I Lay Me Down To Die 1:23 AM

It doesn't
Make sense
In between headaches
And dizzy spells.
It couldn't
Shouldn't
Be so hard.
What is going on?

You I see
Perturbed
Concerned
Reach out to me.
The look on Your face
Sweet sympathy.

My head drops
My eyes twitch
The world spins and lurches.
The ground embraces me
In black cacophony.

Hold me
I'm falling.
Can You catch me in midair?
With eyelids heavy as stone
Lifeless limbs that flail
Like a torn flag in the wind.
Reach for me
Softly brush my cheek.

Dispel a nightmare
My dream come true
Tonight
I sleep with You.