I Am A Whiner 12:25 AM

I know I shouldn't be posting, not now, not when I've got nothing much to say.

But the more posts the better, right?

Shut up.

And just after Thanksgiving, I'm feeling kind of whinny.

The irony is perfect.

Well, we saw a movie, ate a good dinner, and had our relatives over. Joy (my cousin) was able to attend this Thanksgiving with her daughter Charlotte, it was niCe to see them again.

I need to conclude this post before I say something "offensive". You see, I recently found my naughty mouth again, which is nothing more than my wit used negatively. I don't mean to be arrogant, but I'm pretty good at sarcasm. At least that's what Richard implied before he dragged me around the room for beating him at a battle of wits.

I bear the scar.

Just pray that my sarcasm does not got overboard like it did in Mexico.

Some things need only happen once.

And it's all those...people's fault.

I don't like people. With some exceptions, of course.

Don't feel bad, I'm always contradicting myself.

Year One 8:30 PM

Happy Birthday!!

To this site, but also to my dear friend Rory, (I'm sorry I forgot your birthday, I always get confused and think it's the 9th) and a belated one to Flo, who seems to be loving the benefits of being sweet sixteen.

If you're wondering about that post I left in draft hell, it's out, and it's right under this one.

I know most bloggers give their readers a present when it's their blogs' birthday, but I won't.

Just call me Ebenezer Scrooge.

Looks like I need to go, the Thanksgiving celebration is in full swing and I'm here sneaking this in.

This post could be my present to you.

Don't whine, you've got a lot to be thankful for.

And if you're good, I just might get you something.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World Of Chatting 11:42 PM

It all started when I decided to take my little ship for an explore into Cyberspace. Being the adventurous kind, I ventured deep into Cyberspace. This detour soon had me running low on fuel, so I decided to try and land on a nearby planet and ask for fuel.

I entered Grammar Bad galaxy, and headed off toward planet I Kant Spel. After a safe and well executed landing (for those allergic to bullshit, don't read that phrase. Oops, too late.), I got out to inspect my surroundings. No sooner had I set foot on terra firma, I was encircled by a group of little yellow and round people.

I jutted my hand out in a friendly salute. They reacted by emitting strange noises like "WTF" and "LOL". One of them squeaked out "BRB" and ran off. He soon came back with a translator, who told me the Chatters (the yellow and round fellows) would refuel my ship, and that meanwhile, he'd take me on a tour of Chatopolis.

I was not prepared for what I saw.

I saw row upon row of cubicles, each equipped with their individual internet-linked computers. They're a peculiar species, these Chatters. Most are socially inept, and don't know what their sun looks like.

After a while I noticed that my presence was becoming less tolerated, or maybe it was just my comments like, "May I recommend the spell check button?", "Gossip...", or "That's not even remotely funny". Finally I was asked to leave the planet, and with a sigh of gratitude, I hopped into my vehicle and sped off to The Real World.

Arriving back home, I decided to write up a few tips for others who may happen upon these Chatters. This is not a comprehensive list, but it may help you to comprehend and communicate with them.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World of Chatting:

1. Do NOT spell correctly. Whether you can or cannot spell is irrelevant, a true Chatter does not spell correctly.
   
2. Do NOT use spell check. If you are an aspiring Chatter, remember, it's a no-no. If you are a Chatter, by the time your errors are checked, the server will have crashed and died, so it's pointless, really.
3. WRITE IN CAPS. AREN'T THESE BIG, BOLD LETTERS FUN? NO, I'M NOT SHOUTING AT YOU. FINE, I SHOUT AT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. HA HA HA, AND THEY SAY THAT THOSE 1 KILO BAGS OF SUGAR WERE BAD FOR ME!?...WOO-HOO! I'M SOOOOO HAPPY, I'M SOOOO HAPPY...
4. Almost anything can be abbreviated into three or four letter words: lol, brb, wtv, wtf, rofl, asl, omg, etc...Use these in excess.
   
5. "Z" your wordz. Becauze it soundz cool, lolz.
   
6. Write nonsense. Your fellow chatters will like it...Isn't the Easter bunny sexy? ALL HAIL THE ROTTEN SOCK!
7. A smiley is worth a thousand abbreviated and misspelled words. Use them in excess. Note to the guys: The :P smiley after every few sentences is manly. Very manly.
8. Pick fights with random people. It doesn't matter if you know beans about the topic of discussion, just pick a fight and test your wit.
   
9. Proper grammar is of the devil.
   

And as a bonus, I give you:

A Tip On How To Appear As An Intelligent Individual Who Deserves Respect:

1. Ignore all of the above.

Feel informed.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World Of Cha Ting 11:42 PM

It all started when I decided to take my little ship for an explore into Cyberspace. Being that I am the adventurous kind, I ventured deep into Cyberspace. With so much to see, I spent an inordinate amount of time sightseeing, until I ran low on fuel. In consulting my map, I decided to try and land on a nearby planet and ask for fuel.

I entered Grammar Bad galaxy, and headed off toward planet I Kant Spel. After a safe and well executed landing (for those allergic to bullshit, don't read that phrase. Oops, too late.), I got out to inspect my surroundings. No sooner had I set foot on terra firma, I was encircled by a group of little yellow and round people.

I jutted my hand out in a friendly salute. They reacted by emitting strange noises like "WTF" and "LOL". One of them squeaked out "BRB" and ran off. He soon came back with a translator, who told me the Chatters (the yellow and round fellows) would refuel my ship, and that meanwhile, he'd take me on a tour of Chatopolis.

Chatopolis, he explained, was the capital of the country of Cha Ting. A long time ago, a disheartened reject, pushed away by society and embittered by his social ineptness, flew to this planet and declared that he would start a kingdom where all could be equal. The translator said all this with an air of boyish enthusiasm, as if he were reminiscing his first kiss with the love of his life.

I sniggered quietly and turned my attention to the city. I saw row upon row of cubicles, each equipped with their individual internet-linked computers. Taking a closer look into one, a nauseating odor caught my nose. A bearded Chatter looked up from his desk, startled, and then proceeding to fling a bag of oily chips at me. They're a peculiar species, these Chatters. Most are socially inept, could use a shower, and don't know what their sun looks like.

After a while, I noticed that my presence was becoming less tolerated, or maybe it was just my comments like, "May I recommend the spell check button?", "Gossip...", or "That's not even remotely funny". Finally, the mayor himself came up to me and vented his displeasure at my comments. It came out something like this: "Ugh, you're, like, ugh, meanie, I'll zap you with my sword of power, yesh. I've got a bow and arrow in my pocket, you don't wanna mess with me, I'm a Jedi! I'm telling my mommy on you!" Then I was asked to leave the planet, and with a sigh of gratitude, I hopped into my vehicle and sped off to The Real World.

Arriving back home, I decided to write up a few tips for others who may happen upon these Chatters. This is not a comprehensive list, but it may help you to comprehend and communicate with them.

Helpful Tips On The Dysfunctional World of Chatting:

1. Do NOT spell correctly. Whether you can or cannot spell is irrelevant, a true Chatter does not spell correctly.
   
2. Do NOT use spell check. If you are an aspiring Chatter, remember, it's a no-no. If you are a Chatter, by the time your errors are checked, the server will have crashed and died, so it's pointless, really.
3. WRITE IN CAPS. AREN'T THESE BIG, BOLD LETTERS FUN? NO, I'M NOT SHOUTING AT YOU. FINE, I SHOUT AT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. HA HA HA, AND THEY SAY THAT THOSE 1 KILO BAGS OF SUGAR WERE BAD FOR ME!?...WOO-HOO! I'M SOOOOO HAPPY, I'M SOOOO HAPPY...
4. Almost anything can be abbreviated into three or four letter words: lol, brb, wtv, wtf, rofl, asl, omg, etc...Use these in excess.
   
5. "Z" your wordz. Becauze it soundz cool, lolz.
   
6. Write nonsense. Your fellow chatters will like it...Isn't the Easter bunny sexy? ALL HAIL THE ROTTEN SOCK!
7. A smiley is worth a thousand abbreviated and misspelled words. Use them in excess. Note to the guys: The :P smiley after every few sentences is manly. Very manly.
8. Be a raging dickhead troll.
   
9. Proper grammar is a horrendous scheme to control us into mindless, proper robots by the anal Grammatic Nazis.
   

And as a bonus, I give you:

A Tip On How To Appear As An Intelligent Individual Who Deserves Respect:

1. Ignore all of the above.

It's The Air In That Town 7:04 PM

Well, I still didn't finish that post I left in draft hell.

It needs to suffer for it's mediocrity.

Yesterday I attended Vincent's birthday party. I had fun, cake, and little Oreo cookies with milk. In that order. I took some photos as well, but I'll keep those here in my computer in order to protect the reputation of my client, Vincent.

I have to, he's got some bad pictures of me, too.

Well, I met some of Vincent's friends and relatives, and I'm convinced they're all regular smokers of weed. That, or they're just really weird. I also got to observe the locals version of Jackass. The stunt I saw was three guys on skateboards holding on to a moving scooter. The crazy trio held on while the driver attempted to set a speed record.

I also attempted to set a speed record going downhill on a bike with my eyes closed.

Must be the air in that town.

I was invited to stay the night at Vincent's place, so I popped out of bed the next day to breathe the town's air. I spent the day in the sun, swinging, running, shooting little kids with water guns, walking, talking, and running away from ugly chicks. Ok, so they weren't THAT ugly, but I'm not eager to meet new people.

I smell food. Ahhhh, yes, spagetti.

Mama mia, I'm off.

Ciao.

Wake Me Up When September Ends 4:21 PM

It's the perfect thing to say before going to bed on the last day of September.

For the benefit of those brilliant detectives out there who will accuse me of stealing a song title from Green Day, yes, I do realize it's the title of one of their songs. I was originally trying to sneak it in, but being as they have millions of fans, I realize I can't pull it off.

Yippeyayurgay.

I've adopted a lazy attitude towards posting here, but I do not feel guilty, oh no, most of the top bloggers are doing it too.

It's a new trend.

I don't remember much of last weekend. I do remember a visit from my cousins in Quebec, climbing tall trees, a sandal under my bed, and "Crash". Good movie, it was. It was quite an insight into the lives of members of different cultures, had a message on racism, and was realistically done.

This week. Uh, let us see...The adults had themselves a prayer day, and I got childcare. My charges were Monty, Miggy, and Sammy. They behaved themselves well. We did fun fun things like car races, Word time, building things out of lego, dance time, etc. This area also happened to be hit by a cold front, which brought strong winds which caused trees to uproot, junk to fly, fires to start, and power shortages.

We watched "Robots" just last night. It's good. It's GOOOOOOD. We all got a good laugh out of it, and it's got some lessons. I've always liked Robin Williams and his impersonations and voices.

Now that I've finished posting about the unfunny happenings of yours truly, I'll probably go work on the post that I left in draft hell.

I blame it on...myself. For my perfect timing. See, Blogger had two scheduled maintenance hours and I caught 'em both. What are the odds?

And...Happy Birthday, Vincent! 14, I believe.

I wish I had the time of these bored kids. Why, with time like that, I could come up with excellent posts of pure and unrivaled genius.

I have something to say to those bored shmucks as well...Get a new hobby, hump a pumpkin, bang a banana.

Food fights.

E-diots.

I'm bored.

Fall 6:36 PM

Down.



I mean, first day of fall. Today. The wind gets colder, the creepy feeling sets in, and winter's Mr. Melancholy gives you a taste of what's coming.



The little jerk.



You may have noticed Blogger's navbar is back. It allows you to search this site, and gives me a one-click, quick way to post.

A double present to me and you. I may take it off later though, I dunno.



I change my mind quickly and easily.



Just like when I told myself blogging when emotionally charged was not good. But then again, emotion makes good music, art, literature, the like.



It's my contradictory nature. I've got one heck of a strange pyschological makeup.



You're not allowed to study me.



Then, I've been busy with nothing of late.



Nothing=: school, JJT, talking, guitar practice, lying on my bed analyzing life, etc.



And my fly-killing hobby.



I creep around the house with a flyswatter in hand, ready to pounce on the unsuspecting pests. I've even whacked a few in midflight.



"4-0 for me. Score."



I'm currently at 4-1 now, one of them filthy creatures managed to evade me last night. It crashed into my hat while I played guitar, and "bugged" me the whole while.



I'll kill the little devil.



Right after I hurt Vincent's dog for his poo that distributed itself all over my aparell.



Long story.



In other news (a new favorite sentence, I hate it), I need to be more faithful with the good stuff like my Word Time and PnP.



PUUURTY DANCING TREEEEEEEEEES!



They're loosing their leaves!



What do you mean, you weep for my offspring?