Not to mention under-blanket "cuddling" 11:52 PM

So October came and went, and I'd like to think it was a pretty good month. I had a great time visiting family and friends, got treated to some drinking and clubbing for my 21st, and strangely enough, I'm actually looking forward to this winter. Hockey, snowball fights, Christmas, spiked coffee, a lengthy tome, crackling fires; what can I say, winter is pretty much the shiz.

If you don't see me around here much it's because I'm still trying to figure out this social networking thing. Facebook has got me, Twitter needs updates, and I think I want to spend a little more time updating my Strip blog.

But more than anything, this season is just a really busy time of year. Hopefully I'll see you when the dust settles. Until then.

You can quote me on this 11:35 PM

My family: Eccentric, lovable, unique, loyal; and as of late, sadly under-appreciated. Being here at my family's place for a visit has reinforced and reminded me of just how much I love, need, and appreciate them.

Sure, every family has it's issues. Mine is no different. But I see here people who love and care for me, who will stand by me come what may. This makes me see what our little differences and difficulties amount to when compared to our family bonds: nothing.

And while this may sound corny, I maintain that it's the truth, and as such, I believe it with all my heart: I have the best family in the world. I'm in the family that's just right for me.

Make an exception 12:28 AM

We want to see the worse in people. Because maybe then, we'll have a just cause for our cynicism. But, there's always that one individual that defies all our preconceived notions about life and "reality", and we're forced to pause and rethink our theories. That exception, that legend of hope that shows its glorious face in the simple kindness of a humble soul.

Maybe our outlook is a little bleak. Maybe it's tainted by bitterness and hurt from the past.

And with this newfound perspective, we crawl out of our minute, dark boxes and see the world for what it really is. When this happens, the exception becomes a rule.

2 A.M. 11:23 PM

These wide eyes
Aren't seeing
And if you only listened
You'd whisper
Grasping at ghosts

The old is better 8:39 PM

The Vintage Volume is back to it's former template. I got tired of screwing around with the previous one, it's vintage background isn't worth the endless tweaking.

Then lie awake 2:36 AM

It's a whisper in the air, when the soft glow of the moon wafts over my trembling eyelids. It colors my sunsets gray, and chills my reason; when idle thoughts drift lazily through a hazy mind.

Sleep, my child. Sleep is for the dead.

Stay tuned! (But if you switch the channel, I won't blame you) 11:57 PM

A lack of updates means I'm busy with life, right? At least that's the believable excuse that's popular these days; but really, I'm just lazy.
I've been thinking of starting a weekly posting schedule, a weekly column, if you will. The reason you haven't seen this yet is because I'm not sure that I'll be able to commit to that, but it's still a great thought and I hope I'll be able to convince myself.

Who the heck has time for these things anyway?

Now this is Vintage 9:19 PM

New template up, needs some tweaks. There's a few elements that I really don't like but I hope to change them soon. I still wish I knew how to build a snazzy website from scratch, but I don't have the time to learn. This'll do for now.

From the inside out 5:46 PM

I was going over my drafts and editing all sorts of prose and free verse when a thought hit me: people liked this blog better when I was "emo". When I spilt guts. When I let 'em have it. When my thoughts weren't secret and my feelings were all over the goddamn place. I think I lost most of my readership when I decided to take a break from passionate postings. Hell, it's all still here, I just don't feel like posting it. But maybe that'll change. I'm sure there's a compromise to be found. I just got sloppy; I needed a break.

Recently I found myself rewriting my novelette "My Dear Child". In between completely rewriting the ending and adding more introspective dialogue, it dawned on me: I had forgotten how good it felt to lay down a little of myself into emotive, concise sentences. I've been writing/editing in bits and pieces, and every second of it is a joy.

I found my muse again. Or rather, she found me.

Que? 12:12 AM

Nothing I have to say comes out longer than 140 words, so I guess my Twitter is taking over as my preferred means of communication. Even then, it's quite empty.

Goshdarn I'm ashamed.

Goshdarn? The **** is wrong with my vocabulary?

Will ya look at those shoulders 9:21 PM

Here's a little gem I found, right in time for Valentine's.

Something about a word picture 12:16 AM

Really, it's become a rather trite subject, this boohoo-I've-got-a-hole-in-my-heart business. Sometimes I feel schizophrenic, like my evil emo twin is posting on this blog and making me look like an idiot. I hate seeing pieces of half-written, powerless, inexpressive prose on this webpage. I think I'll just delete them all. I can write better than that crap. Really.

When cars were a novelty, I'm sure that when one passed by people stopped to awe over it. Now, cars being an accepted and widely used form of transportation, one would be considered a schmuck of sorts if he stopped in his tracks to stare. There are too many "cars" (whiny grievances) in this little highway of my life, and stopping to write about them is a waste of time and makes me a schmuck of sorts. My personal issues aren't so novel anymore.

Now, it's really just part of my personality to want to express my innermost feelings, but I guess I had to learn self-control at some point, now being better than never. This is not really an apology, and I'm not saying I'm never going to attempt to write something that is emotional and straight from my heart (*gush*), but I am truly and honestly sick of half-witted attempts at expressing something which I hardly care to express anymore. I guess all I'm saying is that I need to switch my subjects up, for crying out loud. Pain and sorrow are not even that big a part of my life, anyway.

I feel the need to reinvent myself. And maybe, who knows, I might be schizophrenic after all.

All that remains 2:38 AM

I don't like this feeling. What is it? Regret, perhaps? It's a ghost limb feeling; there's no warmth where you once lay.

I can't bring myself to believe that I want, I need to have you here. Right next to me. But I'll roll over and leave a space of the bed empty, because I'm going to sleep tonight. Without you.

I Thought It Over 12:13 AM

When you peered
into me,
you sneered
at what
you saw.
Now
I need
a new place to hide.
There's nowhere for you
in the only
bruised but alive
corner
of a heart
that slowly
dies.


I guess disappointment is all I'll ever find in you. Still, I keep hoping.

Another One 11:34 PM

Hey, Happy New Year. Yeah, I know it's late, but it never really feels like a new year until a week after, at least for me.

I hope you're all enjoying it.

I got a Twitter; never really liked those but figured it was a way to keep people updated in between my bi-weekly posts. Blogging is a chore now. Ah, damn. I've been feeling like crap lately. I think I've hit a low in my life and I feel like I'm not accomplishing much. It's hard to smile and act like nothing's wrong, but when I let it show I just get people asking me if I'm angry. Ha, I don't blame them. I just wish I was around people I know, people who understand me when stuff like this goes down.

That's all folks.