Suppressive 6:15 PM

I was going to tell you. I was going to reveal it to you; I wanted to show you what it's like to be me, to feel what I feel, to see things through my eyes.

Forgive me, but you won't have that chance. Not now.

My hands hover over the keyboard, each finger twitching eagerly. My mind races; pictures, words, feelings, all pouring out. And then I plug the flow. Some of what goes on inside shouldn't be brought out into the open.

I want you to know that I'm OK, but you'll never believe me if I shared this with you. When I walk away waving my hand over my shoulder, I don't want you crying for me. I love you, and that's all you need to know for now.

Maybe when I get the right perspective I'll tell you about it. Words are real and dangerous things. I can't have you stepping on the mines I unwittingly planted around me.

The screen is closing now. The laptop whirs into stand-by. Can you hear that? It's the suppressive sound of silence.

An ironic quote 11:14 PM

One of my friends had this as her Yahoo Messenger status message:

"I'm very, very busy watching Pride and Prejudice. If you're not a girl, you would not understand."

The C's 12:41 PM

I'm headed off to the annual MC/OC camp held here in Toronto. I'm going as a team captain; please keep me in your prayers, that I'll be a big blessing and help make this time a special time for the little guys.

Eman out.

Michael's Melodies 2:06 AM

Michael Piano's compositions have me enthralled. His instrumentals are so beautiful, so deep, so full of color and emotion. I suggest you stop reading this and go listen to some of his material.

It's inspired.

As I Lay Me Down To Die 1:23 AM

It doesn't
Make sense
In between headaches
And dizzy spells.
It couldn't
Shouldn't
Be so hard.
What is going on?

You I see
Perturbed
Concerned
Reach out to me.
The look on Your face
Sweet sympathy.

My head drops
My eyes twitch
The world spins and lurches.
The ground embraces me
In black cacophony.

Hold me
I'm falling.
Can You catch me in midair?
With eyelids heavy as stone
Lifeless limbs that flail
Like a torn flag in the wind.
Reach for me
Softly brush my cheek.

Dispel a nightmare
My dream come true
Tonight
I sleep with You.