Wait and See 5:58 PM

I'm moving to Toronto. Allow me to expound further.

I've been invited to join an FD home on the outskirts of Toronto. I say outskirts because almost every time I insinuate that they are ("they" being the Torontinians...Oops. Excuse me.) living in Toronto they kindly remind me that they are not living in Toronto per se, but that they are living in the outskirts, urban area, name-of-the-municipality-that-I-can't-remember. Oh, for God's sake.

Anyway, I'm writing this to explain my absence and the lack of verbiage here. I don't know how I'll manage to keep this site updated, much less finalize the template I'm working on. That all depends on how I manage my time when I get there. I know many people in my position might excuse themselves by saying that they won't have enough time, but I don't buy it. We all have a way of making time for the things we love doing; I simply love writing. I'd even venture to say that I've been born with a passion for words and the vivid pictures they paint, the vicarious stories they tell, the thoughts and emotions they express, the way they stir us up, change us, and change the world.

So what will become of this, my creative writing outlet? I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Uncharacteristic Secrecy From a Soul Who Told Everything 6:32 PM

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. I don't want to hurt you. You see, I like you.

I really like you.

Delirium 12:49 PM

It's amazing what conclusions one can draw, it's amazing what things we see, it's amazing what sudden clarity bursts through like sunlight; all under the influence of deliruim.

But I'm rambling.

You see, I hate being sick. It makes me feel...incompetent. Plus, laying down and sleeping the day away is for weaklings. (It's strange how when I am healthy, I shun work, and when I am sick, I seek it.)

In between convulsive shivering and the clenching of my teeth and blanket, came dreams, and these dreams came true. Revelation in delirium.

It's nothing like the feeling I get when I'm intoxicated, everything is so hi-goddamn-larious then. No, everything is blurry, but in a much more serious sense. Like taking morphine.

I can remember back then. I was a little eight-year-old with dilated pupils. Lambchop and Barney held such fascination for me; but that plastic lion that dangled from the hospital bed never wanted to come down and play. I stared for hours at the pin that pierced through my leg, wondering why it wouldn't hurt me.

I could sit in this corner all day, not moving; my eyes fixed on something, and yet nothing, my body cold and my mind numb. And in the far reccesses of my mind, I'll be working, fast and furiously, on thoughts that I have dismissed as the product of a sad, cold, and lonely state of mind. I am my greatest critic.

Something has creeped up behind me. It's a heavy and warm feeling. It bids me to close my eyes. It bids me to go to sleep.

I cannot give in.

HI! (I'm 18!) 1:40 PM

I found this at a friend's blog; she took this clip after Gid and I had run around in a storm. Call it a birthday present, or whatever.

Yeah, that's me.

As a sidenote, I turn 18 today, and I'm feeling good about being an "adult".

Look out, world, 'cause I'm a big kid now.

Two Twelvemonths of Total Timewasting 9:24 PM

The 11th of this month marked the second anniversary of this website, a feat that probably only 30% of current Family bloggers can testify to have obtained.

Well yay for me.

I know most bloggers would say, "Well, to celebrate this blogging milestone, here's a present for you.", and they'll give you some nifty link to some nifty something. However, I don't have the time to go search for a nifty something for nifty you, so I'll just continue to try to make this site a better place for you, the dear reader. Civil comments and suggestions are always welcome (unless I'm in a dark mood), and so to avoid having random and yet helpful comments posted in irrelevant places in this site, I will set up a shoutbox as a means for you to quickly and effectively communicate with me.

I'll have you know, though, that change is in the air, and there is a major possibility that I'll be moving homes soon, so I don't know how much time I'll have to attend this site.

And once again, yay for me.

Erg 8:06 PM

Sometimes I frustrate myself.

I've had quite a few ideas for a new design for this site. But every time I attempt one, it's either hard to code or looks like crap.

I'm just gonna make some minor changes. To hell with all the rest, I'm not willing to devote too much of my precious time to redesign this site.

I don't like titles. Because I'm uncreative. Because I'm tired. Because I stayed up late. Because I was masturbating. Because I was horny. 10:13 PM

I dont't like titles.